I consider myself to be a very reflective teacher. It’s why I blog – to reflect on my experiences in the classroom and what I’m learning by reading, connecting with others, and traveling to conferences. I have a strong desire to learn and improve my craft, and being reflective is one of the most important tools teachers can utilize. Our teaching must change over time, as education is constantly changing with new generations of students.

There is such a thing, though, as reflecting TOO much. Allowing our minds ruminate too much on what could have been can prevent is from moving forward. This is when a reflective lens can turn into being critical. This is the case with me, especially as I’ve been confronted with new challenges this year. It’s my first year back in the classroom after some time off in the student support department. Previously, I had the flexibility to make my own schedule. Now I must adhere to the rigid day to day routine of being a classroom teacher (taking bathroom breaks whenever I wanted was an absolute treat and I miss it dearly). We’ve also adopted three new ELA related curriculum, and I have no experience teaching the current science and math curriculum.

Allowing our minds ruminate too much on what could have been can prevent is from moving forward.

That’s right, there are five new curriculum that I need to learn.

All of this hit me at once. I started spiraling into a wave of negative self talk. I was struggling with classroom management, planning until 9pm every evening, writing blog posts, and applying for grants. You name it, I was likely doing it. My positive habit of self reflection quickly turned into being over critical; I put myself down and thought I wasn’t good enough to be teaching.

My reflective mentality is calming. In my reflective state, I can detach myself from the situation and objectively problem solve. I can identify the forces that cannot be changed, and work within their boundaries. I understand that teaching is in part trial and error; some things work, and some simply don’t.

With my critical mentality kicking in, I started judging myself and my own capabilities. Being critical is being mean, defensive, and spiteful. It can sometimes devolve into being accusatory. It’s not uncommon for teachers to talk poorly of students and colleagues when in this state.. Worst of all, being critical can impede personal growth.

Instead of being critical, I propose that teachers first try to name the negative thinking, and then shift their mindset to be more rational. After attempting this, I was able to focus more on what I can control and less on what I can’t control. Below are a few of my own personal thoughts and how I tweaked the wording to promote a more growth oriented mindset:

Reflective: That didn’t work, so what else can I try?

This helped me get through the incredible amount of curriculum documents that I was (and still am) going through daily. Reflecting on one piece of the lesson at a time helped me make small improvements that eventually led to bigger picture change. Trying something new takes a lot of trial and error. The more I accepted this, the easier it was to come to terms with the inevitable failures and focus on what I could do to get better.

For instance, this is my first year teaching Eureka math. For those who have not taught it, it’s a US based curriculum with a lot of worksheets. What I really enjoy about the curriculum, however, are its use of white boards. Every day, students are presented with an oral math problem and they must display their thinking on a personal white board to share with the class. Instead of focusing on the curriculum as a whole, I decided to master this one piece of the math lesson. After a few attempts and tweaks to routines, this part of the lesson started going much smoother, which allowed me to focus on other parts of the lesson that I needed to work on.

Critical: It’s my fault

I find a lot of teachers fall into this critical mindset. When things get tough and we feel overwhelmed, it can feel like we’re the ones at fault for our own misgivings. We want to be perfect but it drives us mad that we aren’t. At the start of the year when lessons were going kaput, I blamed myself for being a bad teacher. Thoughts came across my mind that I wasn’t cut out for it, even though I’ve done all of this successfully before. When we go through this spiral, it becomes increasingly difficult to acknowledge our own limitations.

Critical: I will never learn this

I felt this way when trying to incorporate the new curriculum in my classroom. I was overwhelmed by all of the content and the steps outlined in the teachers’ manual. I don’t follow scripts very easily; I tend to teach with a loose outline and allow lessons to organically evolve based on the needs of students and their input. I was trying to do everything all at once, and each lesson became an absolute slog. I wasn’t being pressured by admin or colleagues to do it all, but I was putting the pressure on myself.

Reflective: What’s one thing I can improve?

When tackling new curriculum(s) all at once, I find it best to focus on a single piece of the curriculum at a time to improve as opposed to tackling everything at once. Much like learning a new language, a new sport, or a new instrument, learning a new curriculum takes time and targeted practice. Not many folx can sit down at a piano and start learning all of the keys in one day. You’d likely familiarize yourself with middle c and practice scales, chords, and simple songs. From there, you’d use your existing skills to practice more advanced skills.

After practicing the smaller, more basic parts of the curriculum, I found myself having more successful lessons. This method takes a bit longer to master something new, but the payout is greater and far less stressful.

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It’s taken me a lot of time to shift to a more reflective mindset. But once I got into the habit of changing my thought process, teaching has become has become easier and enjoyable again. Now, after having pieced together bits of the curriculum, I’ve regained the confidence that I used to have as a classroom teacher. I’ve still got a lot of learning to do and there will surely be more bumps along the way, but now I have the cognitive tools to manage and disrupt negative thought processes.